Malachi 2:13-16 is one of those “tough love” passages in the Bible. In this passage, God lets His people know that He has basically turned His back on them and that He is not pleased with them because they have dishonored Him. Specifically, they had dishonored Him by mishandling marriage and pursuing divorce without Biblical justification. At that time in history, God’s people (Israel) basically gave God a-lot of “lip service” about loving Him and living for Him, but then went out and did whatever they wanted to do; including sexual promiscuity, adultery, and divorce. Sadly, that same kind of thing still takes place among God’s people (Christians) today. We talk a good game when it comes to “God stuff”, but then when push comes to shove, many of us do what we want to do, or what we feel like doing, regardless of what God says about it. And much like the nation of Israel in 400 B.C., that includes the issue of marriage and divorce.
In Malachi 2:16, God plainly says, “I hate divorce.” God’s plan and intention from the very beginning was that a man and a woman would leave their parents and unite as husband and wife and become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). In God’s eyes when a husband and wife unite in marriage, they are no longer two individuals, they become one, inseparable entity. When Jesus was asked about marriage, He said that what “God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). God’s will concerning marriage is one man and one woman uniting together as husband and wife until separated only by death. God never invented or intended divorce. However, God knows that “things happen.” Things don’t always work out they way we think they will or the way we want them to. After all, marriages still involve people and people aren’t perfect. That’s why Jesus, God the Son, the second person of the Trinity - born in the flesh, declared that divorce is allowable under one condition: “immorality” (Matthew 19:9 NASB). The word “immorality” in Matthew 19:9 is an English translation of the Greek word “porneia” which is where our English word “pornography” comes from. The word basically refers to any unlawful, illicit sexual conduct outside the boundaries of marriage that is done on a repeated basis, without repentance. To put it simply, Jesus was saying that if your husband or if your wife has repeated sexual contact with someone other than you, on a repeated basis, with no desire, willingness, or attempt to stop doing so and to heal the marriage, then – and only then – will God condone a divorce.
Now, before you decide to hate me, or lynch me, or boycott my church, or send me nasty e-mails, let me explain a couple of things . . .
First, I didn’t write it, I just read it and repeat it. I don’t get to decide the rules on what is right and what is wrong, God does. And God has decided to draw the line for divorce at Matthew 19. That means that what God has in mind concerning any other issues or problems in a marriage is that you stay married and work things out – no matter how difficult that might be. God basically says: roll up your sleeves, get down to business, go to work, get your act together and do whatever it takes to repair your marriage! And it’s probably going to be a-lot of hard work, and it probably won’t be very much fun, and it may not get better right away. And it will probably be painful, and you will probably shed a-lot of blood, sweat, and tears. It will no doubt be a drain on your mind, will, and emotions. But God says: it’s worth it! Just read the “Song of Solomon” in the Old Testament. It’s a picture of a healthy, loving, God-honoring marriage done right, and what we learn from that book is that there are few things in life that are better! Another good starting point is Ephesians chapter 5. It instructs husbands to "love their wives", but the word “love” there speaks of a complete and total kind of love. The idea is that if husbands would truly love their wives that way, then they won’t cheat on them, take advantage of them, abuse them (physically, sexually, psychologically, emotionally, verbally, or otherwise), or mistreat them in any way. No, if husbands truly love their wives that way, then they will cherish and honor them and treat them as precious – because they are. Ephesians 5 also instructs wives to "respect" their husbands, and the word “respect” there speaks of the exact same kind of thing. It’s a complete and total kind of respect. It’s both admiration and adoration. The idea is that if wives would truly respect their husbands that way, then they won’t cheat on them, take advantage of them, bad-mouth them, betray them, or be disloyal to them in any way, because they cherish, value, and respect their husbands too much to do that. That’s the Bible’s idea of marriage in a nutshell. And if husbands and wives would learn to get over themselves, move past their own selfish personal desires, and begin to do marriage God’s way, I think more and more couples would be astounded at the results!
The second thing I want to explain to you before you get too upset with me is that God can and does forgive. If you’re one of the many people who have gone through or are going through a divorce and it’s not exactly “on Biblical grounds”, God can and does forgive. Now, that does not mean that God is happy or overjoyed about your decision. And it doesn’t mean that God will condone it either. The Bible is pretty clear that He will not. The hard truth of the matter is that God says there are consequences for getting a divorce that is not on Biblical grounds (please see 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). However, what you need to know is that God is a God of forgiveness. And no matter where you’ve been, or what you’ve done, or what you’ve been through, don’t ever forget that God is a God of second chances, and there is always forgiveness with God; even when it comes to un-Biblical divorce. [Posted 11/24/09]
- Alex's blog
- Login or register to post comments
